[Philip II of Macedon to Sparta]: “If I invade Laconia you will be destroyed, never to rise again.”
[Sparta]: “If.”

Essays

A QUESTIONNAIRE REGARDING THE PHENOMENON OF SNUGGIES, the Blanket with Sleeves, for the Testing of Your Understanding of American Home Economies and Your Own Personal Desires, Written in the Style of Walker Percy’s Lost in the Cosmos, which You Should Read.

1. Do you want a Snuggie? a. I already have two, and the free booklight. My Weimaraner wears the second and I use the booklight to retouch my makeup in the car when it’s dark. b. A TV screen is closer than I like to be to those things. When the ads come on I […]

Roland

Roland never drove before noon, so all my memories of him are set against the relieved exhaustion of a school day done, light always from the southwest, sun still high but shouldering downward. He was broad, with eyes the color of a robin’s egg behind thick glasses, strawberry blond hair like a trimmed mop, and a terribly pockmarked face.

Little Body All Throat

When I was twelve I killed my parakeet. She lived for a few years after I killed her, but she was not herself—she was thicker, slower, had to beat her wings twice as hard to get into the air.

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